“There’s a culture among veterans,” said Doug Witt, a veteran and peer support specialist at NorthKey Community Care. “I reach out to veterans all the time, and a lot of times the veteran will say, ‘No, I don’t need help because I want to make room for the next veteran.’ Because that’s how we’re taught, we put mission first, we put country first, we put our buddies first, and that’s how we survive.”
September is National Suicide Prevention Month. The Northern Kentucky Service Members, Veterans, and Families Suicide Prevention Coalition planted 660 flags adjacent to the veterans’ memorial in Tower Park in Fort Thomas in honor of the number of veterans who die by suicide in the United States each month.
The flags will stay planted all month.
Along with those flags, a ceremony was held on Sept. 3 in Tower Park where veterans and family members spoke about their personal experiences and the help available for struggling veterans and their families.
One of the speakers on Wednesday was Matt Smolecki, who retired from the US Army Military Police after 20 years of leadership in and around Germany, Fort Leavenworth, Fort Bragg and elsewhere.
“It seems that every story has far too many similar comments,” Smolecki said. “What a great person they were. Best supervisor ever, best friend. They were so funny. They had a great sense of humor. No one ever thought. You just never know. They left behind a family, a wife, husband, kids.”
After serving 20 years in the military, Smolecki retired in 1998. He said by the grace of God, he never deployed to combat, so when he retired, he thought he was perfectly fine.
He thought that all of his anxiety, anger, frustration and lashing out was normal.
“After prompting by my doctor, I agreed to talk to a psychologist who, 10 minutes into the call, said, ‘Have you gone to the VA [Veterans Affairs]?’” Smolecki said. “And I said, ‘Well, why? I never deployed?’ And he said, ‘You’ve got it bad.’”
The VA asked him what was causing his post-traumatic stress and had him write a statement. He said that the statement took him three months to write, because he broke down a lot. It ended up being 17 pages long.
“A lot of things happen, and I saw a lot of things, and when these things happen, we as service members take it personally,” he said. “We see it as something we did wrong, a failure, a mistake, something stupid, something that could have been prevented. Common thoughts, ‘if only I’d been there. It should have been me.’ I had those thoughts, no self-worth. I considered that my family would be better off without me. The world would be better off without me, and I wonder why did I survive?”
The US Department of Veteran Affairs published a suicide prevention report last year, which tracked the data on veteran suicide and compared it to suicide more broadly. The data compiled is based on numbers from 2022.
Fort Thomas City Administrator Matt Kremer was in attendance on Wednesday on behalf of the city. Kremer is an Army combat veteran. He served two tours in Iraq and retired in 2018 as the 478th Engineer Battalion Executive Officer after 20 years of service.
Kremer presented a proclamation during the event, which proclaimed Sept. 3, 2025, as Veteran Suicide Prevention Day to remind citizens that the day serves as a solemn tribute to veterans who have died by suicide.
“Whoever served any time in the military has dealt with friends, colleagues, who have succumbed to suicide because of the burdens that we do carry from the battlefield here, a lot of them unseen,” Kremer said. “The families deal with this just as bad as those that we’ve lost in battle, sometimes before, sometimes during and definitely after.”
One of those family members of a veteran who spoke at the event was Deb Winkler. Winkler is a member of the NKY Veterans Coalition who lost her son Matthew, a Marine Corps veteran, who died by suicide on Sept. 16, 2016.
Matthew served two tours overseas before returning home in 2014. Winkler said her son had a difficult time reintegrating into society as a civilian.
“Matthew could not stay here, is what he told me in his letter,” Winkler said. “He didn’t know the way to take care of the demons.”
Since then, Winkler has become an advocate, speaking wherever she can.
“We hear you,” Winkler said. “We want you to stay. You are important. You do have a purpose here. Those were all the things my son said he did not have. Believe me, you do. Believe me, there are people here who want to help you. You’re not alone.”
James Boyd, a US Army veteran with 14 years of service who deployed in support of Operations Spartan Shield and Inherent Resolve, part of the Global War on Terrorism, spoke on Wednesday.
Boyd said when someone puts on a uniform, they gain a powerful sense of belonging. They know the mission and their role. They know the person next to them will never let them down. When they leave the military, that belonging can fade, and veterans feel lost.
“Many carry invisible wounds, combat trauma, stress, memories that don’t fade when the uniform comes off,” Boyd said. “They follow us home, to our families, to our work, to our private moments at home when we are just alone with our thoughts. The cost is heartbreaking. Every day, 22 veterans are lost to suicide.”
Boyd said to put that number into perspective, 22 lives is like wiping out an entire Major League Baseball team every single day.
Witt works at NorthKey Community Care’s Covington location. He works with individual clients as a peer. Witt said as far as advocacy goes, getting the word out on the 988 hotline is important. Anyone can call that number and speak with someone at any time of day or night.
“If you have a veteran in your life, reach out to them. Sit with them. Listen to their stories. Talk to them,” Witt said. “Veterans suffer in silence way too often. So when you reach out, make a connection with a veteran, get them the help they need; it might be saving a life.”
Learn more about the Northern Kentucky Service Members, Veterans, and Families Suicide Prevention Coalition and get more complete data on veteran suicide below. Anyone struggling with suicidal ideation can call 988 from their phone 24/7 to speak with a crisis counselor.
