Will Johnson is a member of the LINK nky editorial board, and he loves, loves, LOVES french fries. Come back each month for a new column on deep-fried delicacies around the region.
The only thing better than a good french fry is a great french fry. But where have all the great fries gone?
Over the next 12 months, my good buddy and former college roommate, Phil, and I will travel through Northern Kentucky and Greater Cincinnati to uncover the crispiest, saltiest, and most mouthwatering fries the region has to offer.
Whether curly, hand-cut, fried in duck fat, or sprinkled in extra seasoning, we are on a mission to find the best of the best.
We are Will and Phil. We are your Fry Guys. And we are reporting for duty.
Location
This month, we are spotlighting Bard’s Burgers & Chili located in Latonia. Bard’s has been in business for more than 15 years and has become a staple of the community.
Bard’s earned a touch of Hollywood fame in 2018 as a background for Robert Redford’s The Old Man & the Gun, but is best known and loved for its burgers, Cincinnati-style chili, and the Bardzilla Challenge.
This monster meal involves consuming 11 one-third-pound burger patties, 22 slices of cheese and two pounds of fries, all in under an hour. The Bardzilla even landed its namesake a feature on the Food Network’s Ginormous Food series in 2017.
Note: we did not try the Bardzilla Challenge. We value our lives.
Ambiance
Bard’s is a low-frill, come-as-you-are kind of place with pinball machines, televisions, and a full bar. Bard’s isn’t just a restaurant; it’s a legit spot to hang. Food is served in red plastic baskets (the staple of a true neighborhood establishment) with black and white checkerboard liners.
From most seats, you can even see into the kitchen as your food is made. Bard’s keeps it simple.
Appearance
The fries matched the ambiance. Nothing fancy. The cut was a bit thicker than your traditional shoestring, with a bit of potato peel still attached. Our orders were fried just beyond golden brown and visibly salted.
What do the Fry Guys think?
“Our primary care physicians would balk, but this was right up our alley,” said Will.
“There are chains that serve fries like these that come out limp and greasy; you could tell right off the bat that these were not those disappointing potatoes,” said Phil.
Taste and Texture
These were surprisingly crunchy. With a thicker cut, the assumption is you’ll end up with something soggy. The fries were piping hot, crisp on the outside, and tender in the middle.
What do the Fry Guys think?
“The best compliment we can give these fries is the fact that we each housed half our order before remembering to take a picture,” said Phil.
“I debated omitting having to go back a second time just to photograph a full basket of fries. But our audience deserves honesty,” said Will
Value and Experience
An order of plain fries came in three different sizes with prices ranging from $3.50 to $6. You can also get them with a variety of toppings, including Canada’s best culinary export, poutine (fries and fresh cheese curds topped with gravy) — I firmly believe these fries could stand up to any topping you throw on them.
We both paired our fries with entrees. Phil decided on a massive burger. I chose the day’s special: smoked wings with a Grippo’s BBQ dry rub and a cup of brisket chili.
What do the Fry Guys think?
“By the time I finished that meal, I felt like Violet Beauregarde right before she was rolled away by the Oompa Loompas. I got my money’s worth,” said Will.
“In a world where stepping onto your front porch costs first and last month’s rent, this felt extremely easy on the wallet,” said Phil.
Final Verdict
Bard’s was our kind of place. Good food. Good price. The Bardzilla Challenge may haunt my dreams for the foreseeable future. But the fries more than stand on their own.
What do the Fry Guys think?
“These might be the platonic ideal of the French fry. Everything is gonna get compared to these, and many other fries might find themselves wanting,” said Phil.
“It’s not really a question of if I’ll go back… it’s when I’ll go back. This sets a high bar,” said Will.
Bard’s Burgers & Chili
Address: 3620 Decoursey Ave, Covington
Kitchen Hours: Tue-Thur: 4–9 p.m. | Fri: 11 a.m.-9 p.m.| Saturday 12-7 p.m.
Phone: (859) 866-6017
Website: bardsburgersandchili.com
